La Voz de Galicia – June 27, 2025 →
Sometimes we’re unaware of the impact our actions and words have on other people’s lives. We forget that every comment matters—and that it can be received in countless ways. We also forget that any of our actions, no matter how small, carry consequences. And every time I say more than I wish I had, for whatever reason, I think of that line by Javier Marías in his novel “Fever and Spear”: “Callar, callar, es la gran aspiración que nadie cumple ni aun después de muerto.” (“To stay silent, to stay silent, is the great aspiration no one fulfills, not even after death.”)
A few years ago, I adopted the habit of biting my tongue (figuratively speaking) in order to avoid saying everything that comes to mind at the moment. And I believe that through that exercise, I’ve learned a lot about how we relate to one another—and our tendency to give advice and opinions no one asked for. Everyone has their own way of being in the world, and of course we all have the right to express ourselves—but what is our responsibility in doing so? Why do we feel entitled to give advice to someone who hasn’t asked for it? Or offer our opinion when it wasn’t requested?
It’s funny because, even though I practice this exercise regularly, there are times when, for various reasons (tiredness, apathy, anger), I catch myself saying things that just popped into my mind, things I blurt out without thinking. I catch myself telling stories or facts I probably shouldn’t share. And then I feel guilty, because I know that once something is said, there’s no taking it back… This act of self-restraint is truly a challenge for my nature—but such a necessary one! To pause and reflect, and to question our own judgment before speaking… so simple, and yet so complex.
